What happens in Vegas…

25 02 2010

You’ve all seen the commercials. So in the unlikely event that Robin and Glen’s respective spouses see this, a veil of secrecy will have to be drawn over this blog in order to ensure that what happened away from the golf course in Vegas stays in Vegas.

What happened ON the golf course was bad enough, for me anyway. Even giving the others their full handicap differential I thought I should probably beat them over three rounds, cream rising to the top and all that. Even after the first round, a disastrous 89 at Aliante with 5 (count ’em, five) doubles and no redeeming features whatsoever, I thought I still had time to put things right. My second shot on the opening hole at The Legacy put me right: a complete 90 degree shank into an imposing house adjoining the fairway. I barely had time to pray “please not the windows” before there was an almighty bang (the siding, thankfully). Not fifteen seconds later a lady appeared, wanting to know who had hit a Titleist 3 into her yard. I was ready to deny all knowledge, but Robin and Glen were literally rolling on the fairway laughing and so I fessed up. “Happens all the time”, said the lady, as she threw me my ball back. My nerve, however, was gone. Three more doubles and a horrible 85 left me 16 shots back of Robin. Even Glenny was whipping my butt.

Things finally got better yesterday at Rhodes Ranch (our favourite course of the three) and I got some birdies and broke 80. Robin, however, was not to be denied. Not only did he smite several 290/300 yard drives, he actually drove a 280 yard par 4 straight over a large water hazard and left his 80 foot eagle putt just a few inches short.

Fortunately for Glennie and me, some special rules had been put in place for the competition which meant that even though Robin took our money each day, he had to buy the beer afterwards and thus made a net financial loss. However, the fact that he is the winner of the inaugural Vegas Classic will, I’m sure, make it all worthwhile. Now, if only he can find a gift for Sandy before he gets home, it will have been a dazzlingly successful trip for him. Glennie’s mediocre performance on the golf course was redeemed by success in the casinos and the purchase of a stylish new titfer. As for myself, I had no more success at the Blackjack tables than I did on the fairways – a truly dismal performance from a man who two weeks ago was foolishly claiming that he thought he had golf figured out.

I now head off for San Diego, a sadder, wiser and slightly poorer man, hoping that my fortunes will change next week as I seek paid employment as a caddie on the Golden State Tour.

In the meantime, keep it on the short grass, unlike yours truly who visited rocks, desert and water features in equal measure over the past three days. Next time I’m putting and hit it a tad hard and someone says “hit a house”, I’ve a feeling I’m going to have a nasty flashback to our Vegas trip…

All da best.

Dave B.




5 responses

25 02 2010

Great to read the post Dave. I can identify with the nervousness when playing on a course lined by houses. I think it all harks back to the time the police came to our house in Wales after the neighbours had complained about us pounding soccer and rugby balls around their homes. Anyway, good luck on the tour. By the way, did you leave Glenny and Robin out in the desert?

27 02 2010
Bagger Dave

Why am I not surprised that the police came round to your house in Wales, Martin? Still, at least that explains your ’emigration’ to Canada. I think ‘deportation’ is the word you were looking for.

To answer your question: no, I didn’t leave Glen and Robin in the desert although I was, of course, sorely tempted…

All da best.


26 02 2010

If simply playing to one’s established handicap on three never before seen desert courses can be be descibed as “mediocre” then it is guilty as charged.
The first annual Dessert Classic Invitational has established two essential facts however:
1. Houlgrave needs to be dragged up kicking and screaming before the handicap committee.
2. Brooker is strictly a mudder (help! get me home!)

27 02 2010
Bagger Dave

I apologise unreservedly, Glen. You did indeed merely play to your handicap, and I’m just bitter that I failed so abysmally to play to mine. We are clearly united in our belief that Robin’s handicap should be cut, nay, slashed asap and I am confident that Len will do the right thing.

On your other point, ie me being ‘strictly a mudder’, I must have misheard you. I was sure when I made that putt on the last hole that you called me a mudderfu%@er. Sorry for the misunderstanding…

Hope you guys had a good trip back. It’s actually raining here in San Diego!


27 02 2010

Nice one, DB…count me in for the next Desert Classic!

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