Cheap teachers!

27 05 2013
Bud (on the right) with his buddy Adrian. Their hands are usually around each others' throats, not their shoulders.

Bud (on the right) with his buddy Adrian. Their hands are usually around each others’ throats, not their shoulders.

My friend Bud, as he’d be the first to admit, was never that big on school. As far as I can tell, his career in formal education finally came to an end when his teacher told him that the other kids in his grade were a little resentful that he was the only one in his class who was already shaving as well as having a driver’s licence. Bud’s a little shy about the exact details, but it appears that he had just made yet another unsuccessful attempt to complete Grade Eight at the time. The Budmeister then had a long and storied career in the navy – Lord knows how the Allies ever came out on top in World War Two – and managed to keep teachers at arms length for over half a century. How ironic, then, that it came to pass a couple of years ago that he and his buddies should have to start sharing tee times with a bunch of  teachers who had just joined the military-owned course at Glacier Greens.

Things being what they are between the military and the teaching profession, the ‘teecherz’ got off to a fairly rocky start at Glacier Greens, particularly when the BCTF (British Columbia Teachers Federation) called a strike to protest against increased class sizes (and probably asking for a pay rise while they were about it). I always remember asking, tongue in cheek,  one retired military gentleman at the club if we could count on his support during the stoppage. “Oh, you’ll be getting my support alright,” he said. “I’ll support you with a FIRE HOSE”. Even though this didn’t make complete sense to me, I felt I had got the general thrust of his argument. Having played with Bud for a few years now, I often have the same feeling: his words don’t always make sense, but the message is clear. Here’s one of Bud’s favourite sayings, that he actually came out with yet again with during today’s round:

“I’m giving you nothin’, takin’ you nowhere, an’ I’m gonna beat you like a dawg when I gits you there.” As far as I know, Bud’s never even been to the deep south, but when he delivers this line you’d swear he’d spent his formative years in Alabama or Kentucky.

Another point that Bud is fond of making is the alleged miserliness of those of us who have been in the teaching profession. It’s rare to complete a round without Bud mocking ‘cheap teachers’ at some stage. Not that he hasn’t got a point – I remember negotiating a price for a second hand car once at the local Volkswagen dealership, and midway through negotiations the salesman putting down his pen, sighing heavily and saying “I hate selling cars to teachers – you guys always do your damn homework!” I took that as a compliment but, like Bud, I don’t suppose the salesman meant it that way.

Anyway, to cut to the chase, I played Men’s Club with Bud, Bruce and Richard on Saturday. I was standing in for Li’l Stevie, who was spending time with his Lovely Wife (copyright: S. Ellis) and not quite sure why I’d promised to play – it was a horribly early 6.15 start and we were playing off the dreaded blue tees. I went into the pro shop to pay the usual $10 and, at the last moment, decided to save $5 by not entering snips (money you win if you’re the only one in your flight to birdie a particular hole). My rationale was sound – I can’t reach half the greens off the white tees, never mind the blues – but I’d forgotten the capricious nature of the game of golf. After 12 holes I had precisely no pars and nine bogies but, astonishingly, three birdies, including a chip-in on #5, the hardest hole on the course.

Sure enough, two of those birdies would have stood up and netted me a tidy $60. Bud took no small delight in bringing out his ‘cheap teachers’ jibe, but I took it a little more personally than that. I know I’ve mentioned him before, but I can’t help but echo the famous words of the great Argentinian golfer Roberto de Vicenzo, after handing in an incorrect scorecard to deprive him of victory at the Masters in 1968:

“Oh what a stupid I am”.

Roberto de Vicenzo - someone else who made a bad decision on the golf course

Roberto de Vicenzo – someone else who made a bad decision just off the golf course…

All da best.

‘Silly Bagger’ Dave.




6 responses

27 05 2013

I feel for you, DB. May you find another ferret on your card sooner than later…

27 05 2013
Bagger Dave

More likely to find a snowman, Ben…

27 05 2013

Another great post Dave. I always get a bang out of hearing your exploits with the companions at Glacier. All da best

27 05 2013
Bagger Dave

Thank you, Martin. It’s usually a very entertaining four hours playing with that lot.

28 05 2013
Bud B

Thanks Dave for your kind words, as my mother always said, the cream always raises to the top.

28 05 2013
Bagger Dave

I can’t believe I forgot your mother’s quote, Budmeister – the most famous Bud-ism of them all! And thanks for taking it all in good part, too…

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