No Caddy for the caddie…(updated video version)

13 03 2012

Paul Casey’s caddie Craig Connelly was sure he was going to be at least pocketing a nice chunk of change, or perhaps even driving away from Doral in a brand new Cadillac, when his boss aced the 15th hole on the Blue Monster on Sunday. But there was one small problem….

DORAL, Fla. — Paul Casey had a hole-in-one at the Cadillac Championship on the 15th hole.

What made the ace even better was the reaction of Paul’s caddie who was celebrating quite emphatically, and for good reason.

As Casey walked up to the 15th hole, he made a bet with his caddie, Craig Connelly.
Casey, playing in his first tournament of the year, had just double-bogeyed No. 12 and followed that with a bogey on No. 14.
He was 3-over for the day, 2-over for the tournament and there wasn’t much to be salvaged from the weekend.
So Casey turned to Connelly, the short, portly Scot they call ’Wee Man,’ and made an offer.
Casey wagered if he made a hole-in-one on No. 15, he would split the prize, down the middle, with Connelly.
After they shook hands to seal the bet, Connelly handed Casey an 8-iron.
Casey lined up and fired straight for the flag. One bounce, another bounce and a short roll later the ball was in the cup. Casey didn’t see the ball go in, but the low, giddy cackle of his caddy let him know it was a hole-in-one.
“I kinda turned away, thinking, ’I hope that just misses,’” Casey said. “Craig went bananas. In a moment of disappointment I thought I’d have to give him some money.”
But Casey’s disappointment transferred to Connelly a few seconds later.
As Connelly jumped around the tee box in glee, thinking he was good for half the value of a luxury car, a rules official came over and told Casey that there was no prize for acing No. 15 — you’d have to ace No. 13 to win a car.
Close, but no Caddy for the caddie!
All da best.
Dave B.
P.S. In case you were wondering, I have yet to receive 50% of any hole in one prizes yet, although I seem to remember Brian buying me lunch the first time I managed to caddy 18 mistake-free holes for him  – i.e. without leaving a towel on the fairway, handing him the wrong club or knocking the bag over while he was in the midst of his swing. That’s probably as good as it’s going to get…
P.P.S. Thanks to a quick lesson from my good friend Ben Davies I’ve managed to embed the video in my post. One small step for man, but a giant leap for Blogger Dave.




Casey’s caddie – the nearly man…

13 03 2012

Paul Casey’s caddie Craig Connelly was sure he was going to be at least pocketing a nice chunk of change if not driving away from Doral in a brand new Cadillac when his boss aced the 15th hole on the Blue Monster on Sunday. But there was one small problem….

DORAL, Fla. — Paul Casey had a hole-in-one at the Cadillac Championship on the 15th hole.

What made the ace even better was the reaction of Paul’s caddie who was celebrating quite emphatically, and for good reason.

As Casey walked up to the 15th hole, he made a bet with his caddie, Craig Connelly.
Casey, playing in his first tournament of the year, had just double-bogeyed No. 12 and followed that with a bogey on No. 14.
He was 3-over for the day, 2-over for the tournament and there wasn’t much to be salvaged from the weekend.
So Casey turned to Connelly, the short, portly Scot they call ’Wee Man,’ and made an offer.
Casey wagered if he made a hole-in-one on No. 15, he would split the prize, down the middle, with Connelly.
After they shook hands to seal the bet, Connelly handed Casey an 8-iron.
Casey lined up and fired straight for the flag. One bounce, another bounce and a short roll later the ball was in the cup. Casey didn’t see the ball go in, but the low, giddy cackle of his caddy let him know it was a hole-in-one.
“I kinda turned away, thinking, ’I hope that just misses,’” Casey said. “Craig went bananas. In a moment of disappointment I thought I’d have to give him some money.”
But Casey’s disappointment transferred to Connelly a few seconds later.
As Connelly jumped around the tee box in glee, thinking he was good for half the value of a luxury car, a rules official came over and told Casey that there was no prize for acing No. 15 — you’d have to ace No. 13 to win a car.
Close, but no Caddy for the caddie!
All da best.
Dave B.
P.S. In case you were wondering, I have yet to receive 50% of any hole in one prizes from BB, although I seem to remember him buying me lunch the first time I managed to caddy 18 mistake-free holes for him  – i.e. without leaving a towel on the fairway, handing him the wrong club or knocking the bag over while he was in the midst of his swing. That’s probably as good as it’s going to get…
P.P.S. Due to technical problems (er, that would be my technological ineptitude) I haven’t yet figured out how to insert the video in my post. If you search ‘Craig Connelly, Paul Casey’s caddie’ or something similar on You Tube you should find it. It’s worth it!




El bandito Juan: an apology

6 03 2011

A few weeks ago, in my last blog, I mentioned my friend John (aka el bandito Juan) and the difficulty he has with the finer points of golfing etiquette. I made particular reference to his habit of always teeing off first, whatever the scores on the previous hole. He has even  – I kid you not – mastered the technique of throwing his tee in the air on the first tee box so that it unerringly points to him, thus giving him the honour right from the get go. He repeated his party piece yesterday on the 8th tee at Glacier (Saturday Men’s Morning is a shotgun start) and proceeded to reel off eight pars in a row, thus keeping the rest of us firmly in our places. I then spoilt the party  by somewhat fortuitously birdying our ninth hole – if the hole hadn’t got in the way of my twenty foot putt I would have had another twenty footer coming back – but John clearly took this as a challenge and promptly birdied the next hole himself to reclaim the honour and go one under par. Seven holes later, as he addressed a tricky downhill fifteen foot putt for birdie on the long par 5 sixth (our penultimate hole) he still lay even par. Understandably, John was anxious not to give the ball too much of a charge and promptly did the exact opposite, brookering it down the slope and leaving himself a nasty little  two foot downhiller for par. After never looking like missing a putt the entire round, he let this one slide by the hole. Agony! He leant over the hole to avoid standing on Robin’s line, tapped the ball from all of six inches away – and missed again! Four putts from just over four yards! To be honest, I hadn’t even seen the last putt as I was entering our sixes on the score card, but John said straight away ‘No, that’s a seven for me’. He then stood quietly on our final tee box muttering ‘Four f**king putts’ to himself as the rest of us hit our shots. No question of not counting the six inch miss: on Saturday mornings at Glacier Greens you have to hole everything. The dream of an even par round, or possibly even better, had come to a screeching halt.

So probably no low gross for John this week, but a lot of credit for automatically doing the right thing on the course when it counted. That’s got to be worth more than a few dollars in prize money, hasn’t it?

And now the apology: when I said the other week that John didn’t know the meaning of the word ‘etiquette’ (let alone how to spell it) I was being a trifle unfair, as English is not really his first language. He hails from the hamlet of Chester, near the village of Liverpool, way oop in’t north of  England where English as we know it is mangled rather than spoken. I recently emailed John to ask if he wanted to play at Glacier Greens the following day at 9:00. His reply read “That’s the gear, la”. With the help of my English/Scouse (Liverpudlian) dictionary I was able to ascertain that John was in fact saying “I agree with your excellent plan, Dave”.

So, John, your honest actions on the course today spoke louder than any of the incomprehensible words you so often utter – thank goodness – and I apologise unreservedly for anything I may have said or written which caused you offence. Please don’t consult your lawyers – I’m having enough trouble as it is with Peter Dobbs. We salute your skill on the golf course, Ringer,  as well as  your integrity – and we’re prepared to put up with your funny accent…

Finally, courtesy of my good friend Ben Davies, a vintage caddie joke:

A poor golfer (let’s call him Peter Dobbs) is having a particularly bad day, hacking and slashing his way around the course. Eventually he can stand it no more and asks his caddie if he can see any particular reason for his poor play. “Aye, sir, I can that”, comes the caddie’s reply. “There’s a piece of  sh!t on the end of your club.” Peter hands the caddie his driver and asks him to clean the club face. The caddie does so, but says that it won’t do any good. “How so?” asks Peter. ” Because, sir, the piece of sh!t is on the other end”.

An oldie, but a goodie – just like Mr Dobbs himself.

All da best,

Dave B.