Adrian Haut

5 04 2019
Adrian brings home the bacon: Red, White and Blue champion August 2014



We were sitting in the sunshine on the patio at Glacier Greens yesterday morning after our round and thoughts turned to our good friend Adrian Haut who passed away earlier this week. Everyone who has spent time with Adrian has a story to tell, and nearly every story puts a smile on the listeners’ faces.

Joe mentioned Adrian’s love of shopping – and in particular his love of a good deal. Liquidation World was a favourite haunt of his: “Look at this, Joe! Isn’t it great?” “It certainly is, Adrian, but what is it? “I don’t know exactly, but it’s a real good price!” Adrian also loved to buy golf shirts, some of which apparently never came out of their wrapping. Someone suggested that Joe (size Small) could make Moira a bulk offer for Adrian’s never-worn size XL shirts – Joe wouldn’t even have to buy shorts to go with them as the shirts would come down to his knees.

And then there was the famous story of Bud and Adrian on the 5th hole at Glacier a few years ago. Adrian had made a particularly rocky start to his round – maybe 6 or 7 over after four holes, whereas Bud had parred every hole. At the 5th however, Bud hit a big slice, right behind a tree. His only option was to to play back towards the tee box. “So let’s see you make a par out of that, you pr!ck” said Adrian, whereupon Bud hit an amazing 190 yard fairway wood to within five feet of the hole and sank the putt. No-one enjoyed the whole thing more than Adrian and the rest of us have been using that expression ever since, whenever we possibly can.

In May 2010 I was lucky enough to go on the golfing trip of a lifetime, to some of Ireland and Scotland’s greatest courses, with Glen, Robin and Adrian. “Remember the love grass?” said Robin today, whereupon we both burst out laughing. At Ballybunion in Ireland Glen and I shared a caddie named Mickey. Not only did he carry both our bags, but he also gave free, unsolicited advice to all four of us. Adrian was easily the longest hitter, but was having trouble keeping his ball on the fairways. “Good shot, sor, but try to stay out of the love grass!” he kept saying to Adrian. Eventually Adrian bit: “Why do you call the rough ‘love grass’, Mickey?” “Well sor, at Ballybunion if you hit the ball in the love grass, you’re f*cked.”

At the end of the round I remember Adrian giving Mickey – who’d explained earlier that he had a wife and five daughters at home, which was why he spent as much time as he could out of the house – a sizeable tip. “Maybe you could buy your wife a nice bunch of flowers,” he suggested. Mickey nearly fainted. “Buy the missus flowers?” he gasped. “You do that stuff once and the auld woman will be expecting it all the time!”

Ah, Adrian. You were a great friend and always able to bring a smile to our faces. We’re going to miss you a lot.

All da best, Chief!

Dave B.

On the first tee at St Andrews Old Course, May 26th 2010
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As Shakespeare might have said…

3 02 2019
As Shakespeare might have said: “Flagstick in or flagstick out? That is the question.”

Well, thanks to the good folks at Expert Golf, we now have the answer. The video makes it pretty clear that – with some provisos – you’re usually better off leaving the flagstick in when you putt.

My good friend Bud Bryan will doubtless remain a naysayer, but then he’s always thought those new-fangled automobiles would never replace the good old horse and cart. On the other hand, Bryson Dechambeau – who took home a cool $3 million U.S. when winning the Dubai Classic last week – is a firm believer in leaving the pin in.

To be fair, Bud did bring home $25 for winning B Flight at Men’s Morning at Glacier Greens yesterday, so the evidence isn’t all one way, but it looks if Mr Dechambeau – known by his peers on tour as the Mad Scientist – may just have a point.

Anyway, I’ll be trying it for sure this year. After all, my putting really can’t get any worse…

All da best!

Dave B.




The rules of winter golf (according to Bud)

1 12 2017

082

The Budmeister gives a tip of the cap to golf’s winter rules (not).

The most venerable member of the Sandbaggers group at Glacier Greens is our good friend Bud Bryan. Being 79 years young, Bud – perhaps understandably – tends not to approve of all these new-fangled ideas in the golfing world. “Women golfers playing on Saturdays? They should stick to Tuesday mornings and leave Saturday Men’s club the way God intended it – for men only.” “Ready golf? Bah! You’ll not catch me stealing a man’s honour.”

So it may come as no surprise that Bud has not exactly embraced the proposed rule changes in golf, scheduled to be implemented in January 2019. It’s been bad enough trying to get him to accept that now the active season is over at Glacier Greens for the year, winter rules are in place to help golfers cope with the tricky conditions. Bud’s position is unwavering: “Lift, clean and place? Lift, clean and cheat, more like. Should never be allowed.”

So here are half a dozen winter golf situations to which Bud’s response is a firm “That’s cheating.” Is he right and, if so, what is the penalty? Answers below:

1. A player walks up to their ball on the fairway, addresses it and plays their stroke without placing it first under the Local Rule.

2. A player’s ball is at rest on the fairway. As they can see no mud, sand or grass cuttings on their ball they use the toe of their club to roll the ball into a grassy lie within the permitted 6 inches.

3. Under the Local Rule, a player has placed their ball immediately next to where it was at rest when they notice that there is still some mud on it. So they mark it again, clean the mud off and replace it at the ball-marker.

4. A player’s ball is at rest on the fairway. They mark and lift it and then place it within 6” on a tuft of grass in the rough, no nearer the hole.

5. Having marked, lifted and cleaned their ball, a player places it not nearer the hole and within 6” of where it lay onto a tuft of grass to the side of a repaired divot. As the player stands up, the ball topples off the tuft into the divot. They bend down and place it back onto the tuft of grass. 

6. A player marks, lifts and cleans their ball and then drops it within 6” of where it lay on the fairway, not nearer the hole.

Answers:

1. No penalty – you may lift clean and place, but you don’t have to.

2. Oops. The ball should be placed, not rolled with a club. A one stroke penalty.

3. Oops again. Another one stroke penalty. Once you’ve moved the ball it’s in play, so you can’t touch it again.

4. No penalty – you’re not in a hazard or on the green, so you’re within the rules.

5. Double oops! A two stroke penalty. You’ve touched the ball after it should be in play and then played it from the wrong place.

6. Double oops! The rule says ‘lift, clean and place‘, not ‘drop‘. (However, if you realise your mistake before continuing play and correct it, there would be no penalty.)

So in fact Bud was correct 60% of the time. Not bad – but you can save yourself strokes every round this winter if you know all these winter rules.

Or perhaps you’re at the other end of the Budmeister scale and don’t bother about any of those pesky rules. And that’s absolutely fine by me – but, please, not if you’re playing at Glacier Greens in Saturday Men’s club!

All da best.

Bagger D.

 

 





Monkeys and typewriters

14 10 2017

The infinite monkey theorem states that a monkey hitting keys at random on a typewriter keyboard for an infinite amount of time will almost surely type a given text, such as the complete works of William Shakespeare.

So given enough monkeys and golf clubs it’s only a matter of time before your average golfer gets a hole in one, right? According to statisticians – and I know that’s just another way of saying ‘this is complete guesswork’ – your average golfer will get a hole in one once in every 12,500 rounds. If I play roughly 125 rounds a year (which I do, actually) I should get a hole in one every decade or so. More on that later.

For a professional golfer the odds go down to 2,500 to one every time he or she plays a par 3. This video shows what happened when former Ryder Cup player Edoardo Molinari was given 500 balls on a practice day at the Italian Open this week:

You can only admire the way Edoardo kept his cool as shots danced around the hole early doors but failed to drop. And you have to feel sympathy as he slowly unravelled as time went by. Forza Edoardo!

All da best!

Dave B.

P.S. Ridiculously (especially if you’ve seen my golf swing) I’ve had five holes in one. My good friend Bud (similar handicap, much better swing) has never had one. In the words of fellow hacker Glen Parsons, “She’s a harsh mistress!”

 

 

 





All quiet on the western front

4 03 2016

I’d have to say that the past month has been a pretty quiet time for golf here on the wet coast of British Columbia. It’s not that the Sandbaggers and I haven’t been out on the course at Glacier Greens; it’s just that when we have been playing it’s either raining or, even if dry overhead, conditions are – shall we say – a tad soggy underfoot. Every tee shot we hit that lands in the fairway disappears into a hole of its own making, looking a bit like a mini mortar shell crater in no-man’s-land between the trenches in World War One. We’re actually pleased when a tee shot hits the cart path now, because at least we can see the ball bounce.

Li’l Stevie, the Great Robinski and I won a coffee each on Wednesday, but only because the other team, the Axis of Evil (Richard, Billy V and the Budmeister), quit after nine holes, tired of slogging through the mud. After 18 holes I was pretty tuckered out myself, having hit my driver no fewer than 23 times – when you don’t hit it very far anyway and then you get absolutely zero roll, even a 350 yard hole is a long way. I’m getting pretty skilled at finding a nice blob of mud within six inches of my tee shot so that I can perch the ball up in order to hit driver again.

In the mean time, here’s a reminder of what can happen when you’re young and skillful and the ball rolls a bit. I’m not a huge fan of Tiger Woods, but I did enjoy his reaction to this:

Roll on the spring! (Yeah – please let it roll.)

All da best.

Bagger Dave

(P.S. Message to Bud: the kid’s 11, you’re in your 70’s. Isn’t it time you got a hole in one? Just sayin’…)





I coulda been a contender – RWB 2015

7 09 2015

Golfing God (and all-round good guy), Mr Chuck Kennedy.

Golfing God (and all-round good guy), Mr Chuck Kennedy

Well, the 16th annual Red, White and Blue tournament is done and dusted and we have a winner who basically lapped the field. Step forward Chuck Kennedy, whose 74 off the blue tees on Saturday (that’s a gross 74, mind you, net 65) gave him an eight shot lead over the rest of the field. By the time he’d shot a net 68 off the whites on Sunday morning his lead was up to 14 and the tournament was, to all intents and purposes, over.

Now Chuck is a quiet and modest man and no amount of cajolery (now there’s a word you don’t see every day) on my part could get him to say anything remotely boastful at the prize giving ceremony, so I will leave you instead with the reasons given by the rest of us as to why things didn’t quite go as planned this year:

“I hurt my back” – Brian Goodwin (withdrew the day before). Plausibility score: 5/10

“I hurt my back too” – Dave Buckley-Jones (withdrew in parking lot Sunday a.m.): 6/10

“I’ve only played twice this year” – Bruce Coulter (12th place): 9/10

“I had enough grief from Moira for winning last year” – Adrian Haut (11th): 8/10

“I only found out I was playing ten minutes before we started” – Elmo Guinan (10th): 6/10

“I had to play 36 holes with Bud on Sunday” – Dave Brooker (9th): (2/10)

“I had to play 36 holes with Bud AND Dave on Sunday” – Keith Allan (8th): (10/10)

“I had to watch Dave’s swing and it totally put me off my game” – Stan Mills (7th): (7/10)

“I’ve never played in the RWB before and nobody explained the rules” – Murray Polson (6th): (3/10)

“I went to the party of the century on Saturday night and got REALLY wasted” – Steve Ellis (5th): (7/10)

“I had to play with Dave. And I’m too old for this sh!t anyway” – Bud Bryan (4th): (5/10)

“I was in charge of the weather AND taking photos, so I couldn’t concentrate properly” – Dan Fitzgerald (3rd): (6/10)

“No excuses. The best man clearly won” – Bill O’Neill (2nd): (0/10)

Bill O'Neill raises a metaphorical glass to this year's winner. Either that or he's having a rest - 36 holes makes for a l-o-n-g day.

Bill O’Neill raises a metaphorical glass to this year’s winner. Either that or he’s having a rest – 36 holes makes for a l-o-n-g day.

And, finally, from the man himself:

“If I’d have known I had to take the Big Club home AND pay half the engraving costs I’d have thrown away 10 shots in the last round” – ‘Champion Chuck’ Kennedy

Er, you’d STILL have won, Chuck…

Thanks to all for taking part. Wonderful prizes, as per usual. Personally, I can’t wait to try out my plastic back yard driving range golf game (for ages 3 and up).

We’ll try it all again next Labour Day weekend.

Dave B.





Andy Murray – King of the Death Stare

19 08 2015

I’m not a huge tennis fan, but I saw this clip this morning and couldn’t help but burst out laughing. It helps if you’re bilingual (French/English or – to be more precise – Québecois/Scottish), but I’m pretty sure you’ll laugh too even if you’re not.

Incidentally, the way Andy Murray is viewed in England tells you something about the great Anglo/Scottish divide. He was born in Glasgow and raised in nearby Dunblane (he was a student at the primary school on the day in 1996 when a local man entered the school and killed 16 children, their teacher and then himself). Perhaps this accounts for Andy’s steely demeanour, or perhaps it’s connected to his parents splitting up when Andy was just 10 years old.

Anyway, whenever Andy Murray wins a tournament (Wimbledon, say) the English consider him to be a Brit. Whenever he loses, he’s Scottish.

Canadians would never be like that, would they?

All da best, and let’s not bring Scottish Wife into this, eh?

Dave B.

P.S. I was going to write about the hole in one I got on #17 at Glacier Greens on Monday, but seeing as I never even saw it go in the hole and I’ve really only got Bud Bryan’s word that it did, it’s not much of a story. Anyway, monkeys and typewriters…