We’re off!

19 05 2010

There’s a tricky balance that I’m trying to achieve in this week’s blog. On the one hand, I want to let folks know about our schedule and give some links to the courses (pun intended) that we’ll be playing in Ireland and Scotland. On the other hand, I want to do this in a sensitive manner so that it doesn’t look like I’m gloating. Much.

The four of us – Glenny, Robin, the Chief and I – leave tomorrow for our much anticipated pilgrimage to the home of golf. In our usual dysfunctional fashion we are leaving from the same airport (Vancouver) but at different times, landing in the same city (London) but at different airports (Heathrow and Gatwick) and then flying to Ireland with different airlines. Potential for a cock up of monumental proportions? Pretty high, I would say. It has to do with a) Glenny’s obsession with air miles and b) my need to be back by June 2nd to caddy for B B at the Times Colonist Open in Victoria. The others, fairly sensibly, are extending their stays to do a bit of tourism – the Chief getting extra points for involving his wife in his visit. The rest of us will have to hope that expensive gifts for our spouses will do the trick, although Bandito Juan is on record as saying that the likelihood of this ploy working is about the same as our chances of breaking 80 on any of the courses we’ll be playing – slim to none.

Volcanic ash permitting, we land at Shannon airport (Ireland, for the geographically challenged) on Friday afternoon and tee off at Lahinch the following morning. On Sunday we play the Greg Norman designed Doonbeg before travelling to Ballybunion to play 36 holes at the Ballybunion Old Course and Cashen. (We’ll be staying at the gorgeous sounding Teach de Broc hotel. Don’t ask me how to pronounce it – Gaelic isn’t one of my languages). By this stage we should have discovered whether the Chief being teetotal has given him an unfair advantage. If it has, clearly the committee (Robin, Glen and I) will have to make the appropriate handicap adjustments for the remainder of the trip.

On Tuesday we leave the west coast of Ireland to fly to Edinburgh. Unfortunately, the trip organiser (that would be me) failed to realise that there are no direct flights from Shannon to Edinburgh on that date, so that instead of nipping across the Irish Channel we’ll be flying south to London in the morning and then catching a flight up to Scotland in the afternoon. Guess who’ll be paying for supper that night?

We’ll be staying at the Greyfriars Hotel in St Andrews, and over the next five days we’ll be playing Kingsbarns (twice), Carnoustie, the New Course (built in 1895) and finally, of course, the Mecca of golf, the Old Course itself. As I plan to make haggis and whisky my staple diet for those five days, this second part of the trip could be considered more a feat of endurance rather than an opportunity to show of my golfing skills to caddies who may or may not be impressed by my attempts to clear the Swilken Burn with my nine wood.

So to sum it all up: the trip’s been a long time in the planning, and we’re hoping to behave fairly respectably, score reasonably well and not bring shame on the name of Glacier Greens Golf Club (oh god, I’m feeling the pressure already). One of us will return to the Valley as the newly crowned King of the Celtic Challenge, but I hope all of us will be able to resist the temptation of giving you a blow by blow account of the nearly 1,000 shots each we’re likely to make over the course of the nine rounds. Unless you ask, that is, in which case you have been warned…

All da best.

Dave B.

P.S. My good friend Peter came round last night to share some good news about his battle with the Big C. He was bearing a ten pound note on which he’d written in felt tip “Four beers, please” and said it was to go towards our expenses. When I pointed out that it might not be quite enough to pay for a round he made it clear that Robin, Glen and the Chief took priority and I would have to go without. So when it happens, as it inevitably will, that I drive a ball into one of the scariest sand traps on that side of the Atlantic, I do solemnly swear that as I try to extricate myself from the bunker I will shout out ” This is for you, Dobbs!”

P.P.S. Many thanks to Ben Davies for his patience in showing me how to attach links. He’s created a monster! I can link anything now! With any luck, he’ll be able to show me how to attach photos when I get back. A picture may be worth a thousand words, but this week’s blog is only 812 words long…

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