Hail to the Chief! RWB 2014

1 09 2014

Adrian (aka ‘Chief’) has been a stalwart of the annual Red, White and Blue tournament for eight years now. He’s come close to winning a couple of times, but his aggressive play off the tee, while exciting to watch, has always meant that eventually the big numbers have come and the Big Club has eluded his grasp once again. Recently, however, the Chief has taken to hitting irons off the tee (further than some of us hit driver, I might add) and the results have been impressive. Could 2014 prove to be the year that the Chief finally achieves his dream and takes the Big Club home to impress Mrs Chief?

The field was a little smaller than usual this year, but here are the men that stood in his way – and how they fared:

Bruce's first tee antics were well up to scratch. His golf? Not so much

Bruce’s first tee antics were well up to scratch. His golf? Not so much.

Mike's confidence on the first tee proved to be sadly misplaced.

Mike’s confidence on the first tee was, once again, sadly misplaced.

The two shot per round penalty for winning last year proved too much for Sir Stanley to overcome.

The two shot per round penalty incurred for winning last year proved too much for Sir Stanley to overcome.

Billy V's verdict on his first foray into the RWB? : "Disappointing. Very disappointing."

Billy V’s verdict on his second foray into the RWB? : “Still disappointing. Very disappointing.”

Tied 3rd place for Dave. Just like the man himself: very respectable.

A 3 round net score of 206 and tied 3rd place for Dave. Just like the man himself: very respectable.

Al seemed to have a good time, although with his accent it's always hard to be sure.

Al tied for 3rd place and seemed to have a good time, although with his accent it’s never easy to be sure.

Sitting on the bench on the 10th tee, Bud knows that he holds a narrow lead. he's not to know that it will all fall apart on the very last hole of the tournament - a dreaded double on #18.

Sitting on the bench on the 10th tee, Bud holds a narrow lead. He’s not to know that it will all go pear shaped on the very last hole of the tournament – a dreaded double on #18.

Bud's misfortune on #18 means that Adrian sneaks through for a total of 204 and victory by a single shot. Hail to the Chief!

Bud’s misfortune on #18 means that Adrian sneaks through for a total of 204 and victory by a single shot.¬† There’s a rumour going round that Mrs Chief is going to post this picture on Facebook.

Many thanks to all who took part in the RWB this year and congratulations on the stunning array of gift wrapped prizes. As Stan Mills said: ” I don’t really want to win the tournament – I just want to see who gets what in the prizes!” No Indonesian sex gods this year (Mike Worley was away) but I got a flagon of beer, a bottle of wine and about 200 ‘experienced’ golf balls. It took away a lot of the pain brought on by three rounds of decidedly average golf. Thanks, mystery donor!

Hope to see you all next Labour Day weekend for the 15th annual running of the Red, White and Blue.

All da best and hail to the Chief!

Dave B.

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2010 Red, White and Blue – results

5 09 2010

Well, the 10th edition of the RWB is in the books and once again we have a first time winner. Stan ‘the Man’ Mills , with a three round net score of 207, walked off with the trophy and all of $12 in cash (almost enough to pay for the engraving) after a titanic battle with Bruce ‘Almighty’ Coulter, who came up just one shot short. The fact that these were the only two players in a field of thirteen to break the net par of 213 only goes to show that the overall level of sandbagging was disappointingly low this year. Third place went to newcomer Jack Jackson (whose parents were apparently so poor that they couldn’t afford any different names) who finished with a total of 215. Rounding out the top five were Vic Crisp (216) and Smokin’ Joe Dunham on 217. Many thanks to Vic for his insistence once again that all prizes be wrapped and bear no sign of original ownership – it ensured that that the prizes were as varied as usual. I’m not sure who won the Indonesian fertility statuette – or for that matter who donated it – but I’m sure it will be a nice talking point next time the vicar comes round for tea. Joe, by the way, is on record as saying how much he enjoyed playing off tees from which he was unlikely to leave his drive short of the ladies’ tee box and suffer the traditional embarrassing consequences.

In sixth place was Bud Bryan (220), who pipped Mike Worley on a fiendishly cunning countback system that I thought up while reading out the placings at the awards ceremony on the patio. Sadly, I have already forgotten how this system works, so no precedent has been set for next year. One shot behind, in 8th place, was Robin Houlgrave who was a major winner in Bruce’s skins game, played concurrently with the main event. I myself placed 9th, with a score of 224. I never really recovered from Scottish Wife’s last words as I left the house at the crack of dawn this morning: “If you win that bloody Big Club again, either you or it is spending the next twelve months in the crawl space. And seeing as how the club doesn’t snore, things are not looking too good for you right now…”. No surprise, then, that my game never really got going today.

Dan Fitzgerald, whose day was interrupted by dog sitting duties, took 10th place with a score of 226 and his oppo, Dave Buckley-Jones, finished one stroke behind him on 227. Dave did, however, produce the performance of the afternoon by birdieing #5 – the hardest hole on the course – for a net score of one and thereby allowing the rest of us to accuse him of sandbaggery of the highest order. Twelth place, with a score of 229, was occupied by the Chief himself, Adrian Haut, thus proving his pre-tournament prediction of victory to be quite spectacularly off the mark. Finally, last – and as numbers don’t lie – decisively least came Mr ’59’ Guinan. Elmo must have been less than tickled to finish at the bottom of such an unskilled bunch of hackers as were on show this weekend, but has the consolation of knowing that things can only improve next year.

So it only remains to invite this year’s participants (and anyone else reading this who doesn’t take him/herself or their game too seriously) to the 2011 edition at Glacier Greens on the Labour day weekend, when Stan will seek to defend his title and also explain how the Big Club took pride of place in the Mills household for twelve months. I can only imagine¬† Stan’s excitement at the prospect of this wonderful memento taking up space in the living room for a whole year…

In the mean time, thanks again to all of you who made this year’s event so much fun!

All da very best,

Dave B.

P.S. I am recovering nicely from the injury I sustained on the 14th fairway, after being struck by a tee shot played by a competitor who must for legal reasons remain nameless but whose first name is Mike and last name Worley. Mike’s profuse apology, earnest explanation (I was in the middle of the fairway and thus he couldn’t have been expected to hit the ball anywhere near me) and cash compensation package (25 cents) are sufficient for us to have reached an out of court settlement.